You finally went through with the divorce, and now you don’t know how to move on. Don’t worry! We’ve got your back. You are probably already stressed out, trying to fix bank accounts, hire a divorce coach, and deal with marital assets and attorney fees. This article won’t be full of bad relationship advice and divorce tips. We’ve got actual ways for you to move on and never look back. So, let’s get started.
The Truth About Divorce
When it comes to marriages, we all want to believe that they never end. We’re perfectly happy with our partners, decide to walk down the aisle, and spend the rest of our lives with them. It sounds like a regular love story, right? But what if things start going south? Sadly, that, too, can happen.
Many years pass, and suddenly you find your partner unbearable. They’re doing these things that annoy you, and it feels like you’re about to go crazy. Other things can ruin a relationship too. A bad financial situation, for example. Whatever the problem may be, when people don’t see a solution, there’s only one thing they can do — get a divorce.
Surprisingly, divorces happen way more often than we think. They happen so much that the stigma around them is quite confusing. Almost 40–50% of marriages end in one. Outrageous, right?! That means there’s a 50/50 chance that you’ll lose someone you love.
That sure sounds upsetting, but things don’t always need to be as bad as we make them sound. Even if you and your partner feel like getting a divorce is the only way, there are ways to ensure you handle it well.
Once you finally go through with it, things can go one of two ways — it’s either gonna be the best or the worst thing ever. We’re not only talking about how you will feel. We are talking about your partner too. It all depends on the reasons why you got the divorce in the first place, though.
Maybe you’ll both be happy! Also, you could just end up being friends later on. Though we have to be honest, that’s highly unlikely. You might not be so lucky. Maybe this divorce is going to be the worst thing you’ve ever experienced.
In case you’re unfortunate, don’t fret. There are still ways for you to deal with it. One of the main things you should do is move on. That isn’t always easy, but we’ve got your back. We bring you a list of things you should do to make moving on a breeze.
Reach Out to a Therapist
This is definitely one of the first things you should do if you find yourself struggling to move on. Psychotherapy is a great way for you to deal with other issues too. Of course, you can always keep it heavily focused on divorce only.
Don’t let the stigma surrounding therapy stop you from reaching out for help. Therapists aren’t bad people, and they won’t judge you. As relationships experts, they’re there to help you in the long run. We see lawyers for legal advice, so why not see a therapist for some emotional support? Think of it this way — you’re an old lady, and a young person is helping you cross the road. Going forward is for sure easier with their help.
Yet another good thing you can do for yourself. In fact, every therapist is going to tell you about this too. Blaming yourself for everything is never a good idea. Even if you feel like you’re to blame for some of it, learn to let go.
Maybe the reason you’re getting a divorce is that you cheated. Oh well, people make mistakes. However, holding a grudge against yourself for years is only going to stress you out. Instead, tell yourself that it’s okay and forgive yourself. Besides, everything happens for a reason.
Slowly Get Back on Your Feet
Listen, it’s perfectly normal to be down for a good while. Still, how long are you planning to be moping around for? Bad things happen to all of us, but that doesn’t mean life stops. It doesn’t stop for anyone, so after you’ve had your bad days, it’s time to get back up.
There’s no need to rush yourself, though. Baby steps and one day at a time is the best speed at which you should be going. It’s not a race. Find the perfect pick-me-up, and don’t worry about what other people will think. It’s never too soon or too late to be happy again.
Don’t Drag Your Kids Into the Drama
Kids are really fragile, so their parents divorcing is already going to be hard on them. There’s absolutely no need to drag them further into the drama. Find a way to deal with the situation that will exclude them as much as possible.
If there are certain court orders to follow, don’t stray from or try to abuse them. Not only are you going to be breaking the law, but you’re making your kids suffer in the process. Try to protect them as much as possible by ensuring they stay out of this.
Dating May Be an Option
Hey, who says it’s too soon to get into new romantic relationships? Only you can be the judge of that. Other people might think it’s up to them to decide when you can get back into dating, but don’t listen to them. You’re the only person that knows you best. So, if you think you’re ready, you’re ready.
However, you don’t need to push yourself. Prioritizing yourself and your health should be most important. That’s why you should ensure you’re feeling good about yourself first before you decide to make someone else feel good too.
Do What You Have Always Wanted to Do
Now, think about it. You’re finally free to do whatever you want! So, this whole divorce thing doesn’t need to be so bad after all, right? We think so too!
You have all the time in the world now. There’s nobody you need to check in with before doing anything. What does that mean? You can finally go on that trip you always wanted, or visit all of the museums you desire. Take tango classes, drink all the wine you want, watch bad movies, or browse social media all day! And the best thing of all? You’re the boss of you again.
Getting a divorce might be scary at first, but there are ways to overcome it. With these simple bits of divorce advice, you’ll be able to look at the big picture and move on in no time.