Although time passes, some things remain deeply rooted inside our heads. From childhood memories, both bad and good, to lovers gone by, they all find that one place inside us. And in reality, that’s normal. Most of the time, we like to remember things our way, not necessarily how they happened.
Moving on from past events is rather hard when you have the likes of nostalgia and trauma messing with you. Unfortunately, that is just how our minds work. As much as we like to make old memories better than they were, we can’t escape something bad without boarding up and letting it eat us from inside.
Along those lines, memories of your ex have a nasty habit of turning into nightmares. Moving on with your life isn’t as easy as one might expect. No matter if the two of you had a bad or wonderful time together, both can hurt badly on their own. Sure, it’s not like every memory has to be of something bad, but those rose-colored moments will stab you when you least expect them.
And in order not to fall under the spell of some sad song cliche, why don’t you try and fix yourself? Broken hearts can affect your mental health badly. Hence, playing it smartly before you drown in sorrow would be the smart thing to do. So let’s go through some ideas and concepts about why it’s important to let go in the end.
Some Memories Last
From time to time, life kicks you between the legs. And once that happens, it’s pretty normal to start thinking about how life became so miserable. Although some might find that pathetic or immature, in truth, it’s just a natural reaction to an uncertain and unpleasant situation. And while you rewind the film in your head, you’ll start to remember past events and experiences, thinking about how life was good.
A good relationship can always go sour, but the memories won’t go away easily. The better the experience, the more you’ll long for it. Thinking about what went wrong, how you blew it, and so on, you’ll fall through the rabbit hole deeper and deeper. The past is a gaping hole — the more you run from it, the deeper it gets.
Reasons Why Some People Still Think About Their Exes
Usually, most people remember the good times when thinking about previous relationships. All the fun, joy, and emotions they shared with their partner. But like we’ve said, thinking about good times doesn’t mean you’ll end up feeling good about yourself. Moreover, you’ll start blaming your ex, the whole world, and yourself for not being in that situation now.
Unfortunately, joy and fun aren’t always present in our daily lives. Our journey is full of difficult times we have to endure. Therefore, romanticizing about the past is a pretty common way of handling the hardships. You’re so desperate to hold something good in your arms that you put on candy-colored glasses for good parts to overpower the bad ones.
But it’s not always like that. Some relationships were terrible, full of unpleasant moments, and even physical violence. These traumatic experiences are hard to swallow since the taste of something bad stays in your mouth just as long as something sweet and full of love. And although it’s good you’re not seeing each other again, it can be pretty tough to escape the gruesome and problematic memories.
These unfortunate events can sometimes be the reason why some things remind you of your ex. Seeing certain behavior patterns in others can trigger an almost PTSD-kind of effect in you. Therefore, it could be argued that letting go of an ex isn’t as hard as letting go of the traumas they’ve left behind. The healing process can take ages. Therefore, overcoming something horrific from your past is surely a challenge, even for the strongest types.
Why It Can Be a Bad Thing
Although you can’t blame people for having trouble letting the past go, they need to understand that delving in nostalgia or trauma is only counterproductive. In a way, it’s like having both your arms and legs tied together. You’re a prisoner of the past, and you can’t start anything new without your ex creeping up on you from behind. Thus, it’s clear that you have to find a way to move on.
Firstly, it’s not cool to do that to your new partner. Burdening them with how awesome or bad your ex was can only apply additional pressure on them. Sure, you can and should talk about things, but sometimes it’s only down to you. You’re the one who needs to make sure the past stays behind the two of you.
But besides being unfair to your new partner, friends, and family, you should think about yourself too. Spending time looking over your shoulder for the days gone by isn’t a good idea at all. You should be looking forward to something new, not bitching around on social media, reliving the past constantly.
You’re past the point of no return. So, don’t look back and keep living your life as you’ve never done before. Make every new day count instead of longing for something that can’t come back. And in case you’re suffering from mental health issues, seek professional help. Either way, keep your head up!