Why Getting Over an Ex Is Easier for Others?
The heart is a muscle. Therefore, it can’t be broken, only crushed. Although this sounds exceptionally melodramatic, some breakups leave us feeling as if our ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend stuck their preternaturally clawed hand into our chest cavities, reached for the heart, and crushed it.
A lot of people go through breakups. In fact, most people do it at least once in their lives. In the long run, you’ll have more failed relationships than success stories. And while your ultimate success story will probably be an epic tale of love and passion, it’s yet to come.
While you wait, you have to go through all these “less-than” scenarios, where you hopelessly give your trust and love to someone who bails on you.
Breakups Are a Part of Life
So here you are — looking like the living, breathing rom-com cliche. You’re sitting in your bed, eating ice cream and crying, thinking whether your mental health can take the toll of another breakup or if perhaps this is your breaking point. And while you’re thinking that, you’re furiously scrolling through social media, trying to distract yourself with anything (or stalking your ex). Know more about Breakup Depression here.
There, on social media, where everything is perfect, shiny, and idealistic, you see other people who are bouncing back from their breakups so much better than you.
“Why can’t I be like that,” you ask. “I’ve read all their posts, they seem happy and healthy, and not at all like they are slowly withering away in their beds.”
Well, although there’s a lot to be said about the false portrayal of happiness on social media, some people do get over their previous relationships faster than others. But how?
Everyone Deals With Them Differently
Just because others don’t look like poster children for despair and depression doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting. We all have our coping mechanisms that we whip out when we need to handle emotional trauma.
Other people might seem as if their breakups aren’t phasing them at all, but if they loved their ex-partner, they are probably as sad as you are. They just aren’t moping around.
Not that there’s anything wrong with moping. Sometimes, you just have to get it out of your system. Better to cry, scream, and wallow than keep everything bottled up until you burst unexpectedly (and probably over something not even remotely related).
However, if you want to stop your cycle of perpetual sadness, then it might be a good idea to switch things up a bit. Other people seem to be handling their breakups better than you, so why not mirror their tactics?
Why Getting Over an Ex Is Easier for Other People
Relationships form and dissolve naturally. However, just because a breakup was imminent and a natural progression of the relationship doesn’t mean you should instantly be okay with it.
Some people don’t really see them coming, or they don’t handle rejection well and always tend to take breakups personally. Others spend those few weeks and months after a breakup obsessing over their potential mistakes, thinking of what they could have done differently to keep their partners by their side.
Our reactions are hardwired in our brains. If it seems that other people have an easier time moving on than you, it might be because they’re simply like that. Although we can’t exactly mirror that, we can learn a few valuable lessons from those people.
So why do others have an easier time than you?
They Don’t Have Separation Anxiety
Some people are naturally clingy, while others are more independent. The latter know that they can live a perfectly happy life without their ex-partner. Sure, it might not be what they originally intended, but they adapt quickly.
They Might See It as a Blessing
Sometimes, we don’t really see that we’re in a bad relationship until the end. People who had an “aha-moment” during their breakup and realized they didn’t want to be in that relationship in the first place won’t have a lot of trouble trying to get over it.
They Are Naturally Independent
People who don’t thrive on emotional connection won’t get “stuck” on it. Instead, they’ll move on to other endeavors. It’s difficult to imagine that some people don’t particularly care if they are in a relationship or not, but it happens. Those people get over a breakup in the blink of an eye, thanks to their independence.
They Push Themselves to Fake It Until They Make It
We already mentioned this, but just because people seem to be functioning correctly on the outside doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering. However, they might be taking a different approach and trying to occupy their time with things that bring them joy. That’s an effective way to keep their minds off of their breakups and enjoy themselves.
So when you see someone out with friends, partying, taking up a new hobby, or simply seeming happy, they might be faking it. But they are doing so for a good reason. Sooner or later, their reactions won’t have to be fabricated — they’ll be real, and they’ll have gotten over their breakup.
REALTED: When Faking Positivity Reduces Stress and When It Backfires
They Don’t Stalk Their Ex’s Social Media
We understand the urge to check your ex’s socials. We really do. But that’s toxic behavior that will only hurt you in the end.
People who are successfully getting over their breakups usually go on a social media cleanse. They don’t check up on their exes or stalk their new partners and friends.
They Don’t Jump Into New Relationships
The urge to replace what you lost is also strong. What’s more, you might think that a new relationship might be the perfect cure for your heartache. But it isn’t.
People who get over their breakups faster than you take their time to reflect on their past relationship. They think about what they’ve done so far and what they want out of their future.
That way, they learn not to repeat their mistakes. However, more importantly, they also learn how to heal.
They Have a Good Support System
When your friends invite you out to help you get over your ex, go with them. Having a support system, healthy, platonic relationships to fall back onto after a break up is vital. Without them, you’ll end up wallowing in sadness on your own and digging your heartbreak hole deeper and deeper every day.
Reasons to Be Happy After a Breakup
Things seem bleak now, and you might even feel as if you’ll never be happy again. But deep down, you know that’s not true. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and one of those fishes is the one you’re waiting for, the one fish that will put all others to shame and make you forget about them.
So don’t feel sad. Instead, try to remember:
- Being single means you’ll have more time for yourself.
- Now that you aren’t in a relationship, you won’t have to make compromises that you aren’t comfortable with.
- You’ll have more time to reconnect with your friends (old and new).
- The prospect of first dates seems scary now, but soon you’ll remember how exciting they actually are. And you can say yes when someone asks you out!
- You can flirt without feeling guilty!
- You’ll be single for that one person that will make you happy when they come along.