Without any doubt, infidelity is one of the most common problems that most relationships face. Although not everyone will cheat on their partner, the thought of it will surely cross your mind at some point. Therefore, our article aims to answer whether the two of you can move past it if it occurs. We hope we can at least make the pain a bit more bearable, if not mend your broken heart fully.
Cheating in Relationships
Even if there’s no reliable scientific study to back this up, we’d argue that cheating is a massive problem for both men and women. No matter your sexual orientation, social status, sex, or whatever else, you’re bound to come across some sort of unfaithfulness along the way. And although relationship problems are many, we dare say infidelity is among the worst.
But why do people do it? Is breaking someone’s heart worth the effort? Well, some might argue it is, but we don’t think so. Nevertheless, people do it for various reasons, including hypersexuality, having an already broken relationship, a mid-life crisis, etc. But none of these things can really justify stabbing someone you care for in the back. It’s simply a cowardly act.
Moreover, the damage is enormous. Knowing someone would risk your romantic relationship for another person is a depressing thought. Broken homes and black hearts are all too common, unfortunately. Some people never really recover from cheating, making them a shell of their former selves, forever living in an emotional abyss.
The Chances of Fixing a Relationship
Though rare, some couples eventually bridge the emotive gap of adultery. They successfully manage to come to terms that one of them made a mistake. But these cases are few, so you shouldn’t count on always having a second chance. Sure, people do silly things in moments of madness, but forgiveness can’t always come.
However, we’re not here to burst your bubble. We’d like to encourage hope and belief that there’s a way out of this unfortunate situation. It requires time and a huge effort from both partners. Either by solving it yourself or visiting a relationship therapist, you can make it work in the end. See these 13 signs you need to visit a marriage counsellor.
Firstly, it’s all about being honest about it. Once the person who cheated understands their mistakes, the process can begin. After all, sharing and communicating is the pillar of success. Without it, you can’t build anything, let alone mend something as dead as a broken heart.
It’s important to understand that moving forward requires time and energy. Both partners must process what happened and look at it from a safe distance. Sure, it might sound hard when it’s happening to you, but being rational is the only way to deal with a situation like this. Therefore, let’s talk about the four basic steps of making your love life work again.
Remorse and Honesty
The two basics of making amends with your partner are remorse and honesty. That means that, even if you never end up like before, you can try your best to take things off your chest and make your partner aware that you’re truly sorry. Otherwise, you can forget about the good old times. But why is that?
To make yourself try your best, you must truly believe that you’ve done something wrong. And if you don’t, you’re just fooling yourself and wasting time before realizing the inevitable. True remorse must come from the depths of your heart. However, you should avoid self-pity and feeling sorry for yourself, as it can only make matters worse.
It’s a slippery road not to drown in sorrow. But to raise once again, you must hit rock-bottom first. The thing is not to give up once down and fight your way back up like Rocky. And that’s where the second part comes in. Yup, honesty is where it’s all at.
Once again, every successful long-term relationship is based on honesty. It’s at the root of all things worth fighting for. Without it, we’d all live in a make-believe world that eventually catches up with us. Hence, openly dissecting what you did in front of your partner can help set the stage for recovery.
Remove Temptations
Infidelity is a funny thing. Even though you swear you won’t do it again, it somehow comes and lures you back in. For some, it’s like a bad habit they can’t get rid of. And in case you don’t trust yourself, you must remove the possibility of a new temptation coming in and destroying everything you’ve done so far.
Making sure you don’t fall for it again can be tricky. Therefore, we suggest you make a shift in your social life to prevent cheating again. You can always make a list of things that led to your previous adventure and prepare not to repeat them. And although it might sound silly, writing it all down on a piece of paper can help.
So, if you’re a social type, make sure you avoid bad company. Drinking and doing drugs can make you less aware of what you’re doing too, so make sure you don’t consume them regularly. Change your lifestyle and show your partner that you’re willing to change your ways for the sake of your future. Yup, it can be hard, but it’s the price you must pay.
Keep It Private
It’s common for people to share their private lives with close friends and family. However, that shouldn’t always be the case. Although it might seem smart to lift some weight off your shoulders by doing so, it can potentially have a negative effect too. The thing is — not everyone can give quality advice.
Sure, your friends and family might not want to make matters worse, but your partner might not want others to know what’s happening between the two of you. They might see it as an intrusion into your world. It’s simply wrong and rude to your partner. On the other hand, their subjectivity might affect how you feel about your previous actions.
You see, your friends might suggest that you’ve done nothing wrong. That way, they’ll muddy the waters and potentially change your point of view. On the other hand, people who cheat often know that they’re doing something wrong, so they subconsciously look for someone to tap their shoulder and say it wasn’t a mistake. See the psychology of most cheaters.
Consider Marriage Counseling
Lastly, relationship problems are best solved after visiting a therapist. That might make it seem like you’ve hit rock bottom, but it isn’t so. The point is to seek professional help that is more reliable than what your friend at the bar can suggest. Unlike your friendly Joe, a marriage counselor has no emotional connection with your situation and will make rational comments and observations you might have missed.
Unfortunately, some see this as grasping at straws. But in reality, it’s a smart and decisive moment that can help turn the ship around. An average relationship expert has seen countless partners cheat, making them worthy of your story too. Hence, don’t feel shame for suggesting professional help. Self-pride is no longer on the table. It’s about making adult decisions, even if you don’t feel like it.
