Let’s be honest here — dealing with breakups is awful. No matter how easy-going or cold-hearted you might be, heartache is unavoidable. You don’t need to be a relationship expert to know that. Breaking up hurts both physically and mentally, but sometimes, it’s just necessary. You simply need to accept that your time is up.
If you avoid the signs, you’ll end up in an unhealthy relationship that will hurt you even more than post-breakup blues. Sure, starting over again, self-esteem, and ego trips are worthy of consideration, but they shouldn’t stand in the way of your happiness. Hence, we’re here to talk about ten obvious red flags in a relationship. Unfortunately, it won’t be pleasant, so hold on tight.
You’re Holding on to the Good Memories
The first sign you should break up your relationship is a pretty common one. If you’re not living in the present moment, and you can only recall how it used to be, it’s time to rethink your relationship status. Sure, memories are great and all, but if they’re the only thing holding the two of you together, then there’s more than one thing wrong.
It’s a big mistake to think that it can get miraculously better. Memories are sinking ships, and we tend to look at them with rose-colored glasses. We turn them into beautiful pictures while desperate not to face reality. Hence, we suggest that you accept the present and move on.
You Don’t Like Yourself
Signs to breakup don’t come more obvious than hating yourself. Unhealthy relationships have a nasty tendency to turn us into something we’re not — often, into the worst versions of ourselves.
This is a clear sign that something isn’t right between the two of you. You start happy and full of appreciation for the world around you, but as time goes by, you become miserable and fuming with anger and disdain for your life.
Unfortunately, you don’t accept that because you think you like your partner so much. So if you find yourself feeling sad and angry all the time, we’d say it’s time to let go of your partner.
Your Partner Isn’t Trying to Make It Work
It takes two to make a relationship healthy and functional. However, if your partner isn’t showing signs of commitment, there’s not much you can do other than to call it quits.
You shouldn’t be the only one to carry the weight on your shoulders. Relationships require work. You could say they’re like plants — in need of love, care, and attention, or they’ll die.
So if your partner doesn’t want to help out and make it work, you shouldn’t hesitate to meet new people. It’s important to remember that you’re in this together.
You Feel Drained
Do you know what’s worse than dealing with post-breakup blues? Well, feeling empty next to your partner. Yup, being drained of all your emotions is a critical sign that it’s time to break up and move on with your life.
Being a couple shouldn’t feel like that. If it does, there’s something wrong with your previous life choices. Still, being drained doesn’t only affect you physically; it also leaves marks on your mental health and stability. Therefore, consider letting go.
You’re Both Full of Resentment
Another example of things spiraling out of control is if you feel resentment towards each other. It creeps in slowly under your skin and eventually blows up in your face.
It’s a sign of lackluster communication. Neither of you acknowledges what the other person has to say, and you both disregard each other’s opinions and ideas. This then turns into deliberately sabotaging each other because they don’t want to do anything you suggest.
It’s a painful thing to experience, and you shouldn’t keep it under the rug. Don’t allow it to consume you — leave.
Your Friends and Family Think You Should Break Up
Friends and family members shouldn’t control your private life. No one denies that. However, they might see things that you don’t, and that’s why you should at least give them a chance to speak their mind from time to time.
We know that no one enjoys others being nosey about something that’s none of their business, but you should spend time with them and talk things over if you feel like it. If they care about you, they’ll pay attention and provide ideas on how to change your situation. Don’t take their opinion for granted.
You Feel Like You’re Walking on Eggshells
If you can’t relax and be yourself while with your partner, there’s something fishy going on between the two of you. Being on edge is not something that comes with a healthy relationship. Hence, having to walk around a minefield not to disturb your lover is a clear red flag.
It manifests through basic communication turning into a major fight. From switching the channel on TV to forgetting to turn off the AC, toxicity spreads everywhere. It’s like having butterflies in your belly but in a bad, harrowing way. Just don’t accept that as normal.
You’re Settling for What You Don’t Want
Of course, making compromises from time to time is normal in a long-term relationship. It should work both ways. But if settling for what you don’t want becomes a norm, it might be a good idea to think things over.
You shouldn’t settle for anything other than feeling good about your life and relationship. It’s simply a waste of time because things won’t get better if there’s no mutual commitment. This is a prime example of an unhealthy relationship, so back off before it’s too late.
You Cling Tightly to ‘As Soon as…’
Similar to holding on to memories and the good old times, this point is all about not living in the present. Only this time, it’s about some idealistic future that’s not possible. You wait and wait for something to come along and change your lives for the better, but that something never comes, and it never will.
Lots of people mistake this for optimism, but it’s not that. It’s a farce you tell yourself because you’re scared of letting go. There’s no reason not to find the happiness you long for with someone else. Don’t waste your life on foolish hopes that will never come true.
You Are Incompatible
Although romantic movies like to portray quirky tales of how two opposites fall in love and live happily ever after, that’s not how things work in real life. Incompatibility might not be obvious at first, but in time, it begins to form cracks that you won’t be able to mend.
You’re simply not meant to be together. There’s no shame in admitting that and moving on. After all, it’s better for both of you to be honest and accept the fact that you’re just different from one another.
So don’t waste your time stressing out and pulling your hair over it — it’s no use. Talk to your partner about it and break up like the mature adults you are.