The Psychology Behind Breakup Sex

Posted on by Upton Doris

Parting ways with someone you love and care for is never easy. You don’t need to watch melodramatic movies or listen to heartbreaking songs to know this. It’s just an unfortunate fact of adult life. However, sometimes, there’s that bittersweet part we secretly cherish and hold so dearly for years later.

Of course, we’re talking about breakup sex. It’s a topic of so many works of art, and it’s simply unavoidable. You know, arguing for hours, crying in each other’s arms, knowing your number’s up, and all of a sudden bang — it happens. One of you leans in, and you begin to make out, sharing bodily fluids before you know it.

But why does it happen? Isn’t it somewhat contradictory to make love to someone you’ve just broken up with? Well, our article aims to explore the psychology of breakup sex and help you prepare for it because you never know when it will happen. Therefore, let’s not waste any more time and let’s dissect whether it’s a great thing or just a bad idea.

Breakup Sex

It’s late in the evening, and the two of you are sitting across each other with the radio on. The airwaves …

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How to Heal After Experiencing Sexual Assault

Posted on by Upton Doris

Sexual violence is one of the most traumatic events you can experience. Someone decides to take advantage of you, and it leaves you feeling broken. However, you don’t have to stay broken. Healing after sexual assault is doable. Not only that, but you can start enjoying sex again! Yes, even if that sounds like a distant dream. So, let’s find all about the tools that will help you heal. 

Know That Your Feelings Are Valid

Feeling entirely invalid is something all too real when it comes to healing from this kind of sexual trauma. These events can make you feel like it’s all your fault. Sadly, bad feelings don’t stop there. Guilt is accompanied by shame and feelings of loss.

Pushing those feelings away is probably something everyone would do. It’s simply an automatic reaction. Our brain doesn’t know how to deal with it all, so it shuts everything out. You might feel scared, sad, angry, and everything in between. However, all of those feelings are completely valid. Not only that, but you should embrace them completely. 

It could be hard for a while, but that is only the beginning when it comes to healing after sexual assault. Once …

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How to Break Up With Someone in the Kindest Possible Way

Posted on by Upton Doris

Breaking up is always painful and frustrating if you’re on the receiving end. However, we rarely think about how awful it can be for the person who actually initiates a breakup. Check out some of our tips to learn how to break up with someone in the kindest possible way!

The Stages of Breakups

If you leave your partner, you are going to cause them a lot of pain. Dumping someone gives you the control to end your relationship and move on. Yet, that doesn’t mean you’ll escape the clutches of grief, anger, guilt, and sadness.

Ultimately, you’ve probably had a great relationship with that person. You cared about them, and it’s quite possible that you still have some emotions for them. If you’re unsure of how to actually let go, sever ties, and recover afterward, you can follow some of our breakup ideas. We’ll break down what you need to do in each breakup stage!

Before the Breakup

Give Yourself and Your Partner a Chance to Fix Things

Firstly, try to prepare your partner for the breakup. Unexpected breakups are the worst, and they’ll take a big toll on anyone. Before you break up with your partner, talk to …

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Ways to Move on After a Divorce

Posted on by Upton Doris

You finally went through with the divorce, and now you don’t know how to move on. Don’t worry! We’ve got your back. You are probably already stressed out, trying to fix bank accounts, hire a divorce coach, and deal with marital assets and attorney fees. This article won’t be full of bad relationship advice and divorce tips. We’ve got actual ways for you to move on and never look back. So, let’s get started. 

The Truth About Divorce

When it comes to marriages, we all want to believe that they never end. We’re perfectly happy with our partners, decide to walk down the aisle, and spend the rest of our lives with them. It sounds like a regular love story, right? But what if things start going south? Sadly, that, too, can happen. 

Many years pass, and suddenly you find your partner unbearable. They’re doing these things that annoy you, and it feels like you’re about to go crazy. Other things can ruin a relationship too. A bad financial situation, for example. Whatever the problem may be, when people don’t see a solution, there’s only one thing they can do — get a divorce. 

Surprisingly, divorces happen way more often …

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Men or Women: Who Gets Over a Breakup Faster?

Posted on by Upton Doris

Love and heartache are the two most common themes in the world. No matter what story you read or what song you listen to, they’re always present in one way or another. And that’s no coincidence because they’re the two things we look for and fear the most. But who has it harder when it comes to breaking up — men or women?

The Study

Relationships are always complicated, no matter what we tell ourselves. And when it comes to breaking up, everyone handles it in their unique way. Still, science has some interesting facts to tell us about the differences between men and women and how they handle moving away from their lovers.

The study we’re referring to was published in the prestigious science journal — Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences. Its reputation and the previous experience of people working on it give us confidence in its accuracy. Namely, researchers at the Birmingham University and London’s University College have done interviews with 5,705 people from all over the world (96 countries).

The participants rated the emotional and physical impact of breaking up on a scale of one to ten, with one being no impact and ten unbearable. Interestingly enough, women show …

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Is Getting Over Your Ex as Easy as It Seems?

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Why Getting Over an Ex Is Easier for Others?

The heart is a muscle. Therefore, it can’t be broken, only crushed. Although this sounds exceptionally melodramatic, some breakups leave us feeling as if our ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend stuck their preternaturally clawed hand into our chest cavities, reached for the heart, and crushed it.

A lot of people go through breakups. In fact, most people do it at least once in their lives. In the long run, you’ll have more failed relationships than success stories. And while your ultimate success story will probably be an epic tale of love and passion, it’s yet to come.

While you wait, you have to go through all these “less-than” scenarios, where you hopelessly give your trust and love to someone who bails on you.

Breakups Are a Part of Life

So here you are — looking like the living, breathing rom-com cliche. You’re sitting in your bed, eating ice cream and crying, thinking whether your mental health can take the toll of another breakup or if perhaps this is your breaking point. And while you’re thinking that, you’re furiously scrolling through social media, trying to distract yourself with anything (or stalking your …

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Is Thinking About Your Ex a Bad Thing?

Posted on by Upton Doris

Although time passes, some things remain deeply rooted inside our heads. From childhood memories, both bad and good, to lovers gone by, they all find that one place inside us. And in reality, that’s normal. Most of the time, we like to remember things our way, not necessarily how they happened.

Moving on from past events is rather hard when you have the likes of nostalgia and trauma messing with you. Unfortunately, that is just how our minds work. As much as we like to make old memories better than they were, we can’t escape something bad without boarding up and letting it eat us from inside.

Along those lines, memories of your ex have a nasty habit of turning into nightmares. Moving on with your life isn’t as easy as one might expect. No matter if the two of you had a bad or wonderful time together, both can hurt badly on their own. Sure, it’s not like every memory has to be of something bad, but those rose-colored moments will stab you when you least expect them.

And in order not to fall under the spell of some sad song cliche, why don’t you try and fix yourself? …

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Effective Ways to Let Go and Move On

Posted on by Upton Doris

You are changing. The universe around you is changing. Just because something was right for you in the past doesn’t mean it still is. This could be a relationship, a job, a home, a habit, etc.

It happens to you slowly as you grow. You discover more about who you are and what you want out of life, and then you realize there are deliberate changes you need to make to keep up with the changes happening around you and within you.

The lifestyle you’ve been living no longer fits. The specific people and routines you’ve known forever no longer align with your values. So you cherish all the memories, but find yourself letting go and moving on.

If you’re currently dealing with this process you may feel a bit awkward, and that’s OK. This feeling is normal. I’ve been right there with you on more occasions than I can count.

Reasons to Let Go and Move On

  1. Someone’s negativity is rubbing off on you. – You are the average of the people you spend the most time with. In other words, who you spend your time with has a great impact on the person you are and the person
…

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These Are the Best Songs to Help You Get Over a Breakup

Posted on by Upton Doris

So you’re going through a breakup. The bad news: it’s never easy. The good news: you’re not alone with your aching heart. If the music we listen to is any indication, then breaking up, feeling down about it and hopefully finding the courage to move on are some of the most common shared human experiences. As centuries of forlorn singletons have learned and generations of songwriters have mastered, one of the best cures for heartbreak is the balm of music that speaks to our souls — or maybe helps us rationalize away the tears.

“Heartache is what motivates many artists to write songs in the first place,” explains Spotify’s trends expert Shanon Cook to us; there are over half a million breakup-themed playlists on the platform alone. “Some people might not want or know how to articulate how they’re feeling during a rough time,” Cook adds. “Maybe it’s nice to let Sam Smith or Kelly Clarkson express it for you.”

While some classics remain timeless in their appeal — songs like Beyoncé‘s “Irreplaceable,” Adele‘s “Someone Like You” and Kelly Clarkson‘s “Since U Been Gone” remain the top three most popular additions to breakup-themed playlists on Spotify, for instance — 2018 …

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5 Ways to Move on When You Still Love Your Ex

Posted on by Upton Doris

Nothing can keep you from a happier future than a lingering relationship wound. We’ve all been there: Experiencing good love gone bad is painful. It doesn’t really matter what the circumstances were, or who was right and who was wrong. The bottom line is that it hurts and that the pain is preventing you from moving forward. While time is the best healer, there are five concrete steps you can take that will facilitate the process:

1. Cut off contact

Do this at least for a little while. No, you do not need to be friends. Keeping an ex in your life is not by itself a sign of maturity; knowing how to take care of yourself and your emotional well-being is. Many people hang on to the idea of friendship with an ex as a way to keep the possibility of the relationship alive because the idea of completely letting go seems too overwhelming. While, depending on the circumstances, a friendship may eventually be possible, being friends can’t happen in a genuine way until you have healed through most if not all of the pain, which takes time. Being your own best friend is what is most important …

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Temperature play: Warm up your sex play and shiver

Posted on by Upton Doris

If you want to turn up the heat or cool down in the bedroom, temperature play will introduce an entirely new world of pleasure! So what is temperature play, and how can you use it to have fun responsibly?

What is temperature play?

Have you ever used an ice cube to tease your partner in bed? If so, you’ve already tried temperature play! This is an incredibly simple and safe kink that can switch up your regular bedroom activities. It involves the use of hot or cold temperatures to create entirely new sensations.

When you use certain items and even sex toys to increase the heat or cold, you can stimulate thousands of sensitive nerves. Moreover, you can try temperature play on any erogenous zone. But you’ll need to know some safety basics plus some tricks that will make this kink feel amazing!

What do I need?

Anyone can try temperature play, regardless of if you’re into vanilla sex or BDSM. One of the best ways to play around with different temperatures is to use sex toys. You can heat up or cool down most sex toys and use them around and inside your genitals. This works best with …

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Dumper vs. Dumpee Psychology

Posted on by Upton Doris

It’s no secret that breaking up with your partner can feel terrible for both. However, what’s the real difference between the one who does it and the other on the receiving end? Our article aims to go through the ins and outs of all the psychology behind breaking up. So buckle up and hold on tight — this ride might get bumpy and rough.

What Are ‘Dumper’ and ‘Dumpee’?

Before we get into the more serious stuff, we should explain the two terms we’re going to use prominently. So what’s a dumper, and what’s a dumpee? Well, a dumper is a person who causes the ending of the relationship. For whatever reasons, dumpers come up with the idea that it’s best to part ways.

On the other hand, a dumpee is a person on the receiving end of breaking up. They are the ones who get left by their lover. Of course, every dumpee reacts to this uniquely. From tears and heartache to keeping their head up high, it all depends on the individual and their mental capacity to deal with such a situation.

Key Concepts of Dumper vs. Dumpee Psychology

Concept #1: The Grieving Process

Even if we …

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Definite Signs the Two of You Should Break Up

Posted on by Upton Doris

Let’s be honest here — dealing with breakups is awful. No matter how easy-going or cold-hearted you might be, heartache is unavoidable. You don’t need to be a relationship expert to know that. Breaking up hurts both physically and mentally, but sometimes, it’s just necessary. You simply need to accept that your time is up.

If you avoid the signs, you’ll end up in an unhealthy relationship that will hurt you even more than post-breakup blues. Sure, starting over again, self-esteem, and ego trips are worthy of consideration, but they shouldn’t stand in the way of your happiness. Hence, we’re here to talk about ten obvious red flags in a relationship. Unfortunately, it won’t be pleasant, so hold on tight.

You’re Holding on to the Good Memories

The first sign you should break up your relationship is a pretty common one. If you’re not living in the present moment, and you can only recall how it used to be, it’s time to rethink your relationship status. Sure, memories are great and all, but if they’re the only thing holding the two of you together, then there’s more than one thing wrong.

It’s a big mistake to think that it can …

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Why It’s Not a Good Idea to Be Friends With an Ex… for Now

Posted on by Upton Doris

No matter how rational or mature you think you are, facing a breakup isn’t something you’d look forward to. Saying goodbye and letting go isn’t easy, and it can break even the coldest of people. Losing someone you care for is pretty much the worst thing that could happen to you. It’s the topic of pretty much every other sad song, piece of literature, or any other art form.

On the other hand, breaking up with someone with whom you had a bad experience is often seen as something positive. And sure enough, in truth, it is. But, unfortunately, it’s not like the traumas of the past won’t crawl their way back in. So, moving forward might be harder than saying enough is enough.

Either way, there’s this old thing about not staying in contact with your ex. The reasons are many, but in the end, most point in the same direction. Pretending that everything is A-okay is pretty much counterproductive for both of you. No matter if you had a good or toxic relationship with that one person, it’s important not to look back on it.

Sure, we’re not saying you should be an A-hole to them, not at …

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Breakup Sex and 10 Circumstances Where It Works

Posted on by Upton Doris

Although it might seem strange, breakup sex is one of the hottest things out there. Sure, your feelings might be a mess, but that’s what makes it even better. However, it doesn’t work all the time. Nevertheless, we should first explain what it is and why it works.

What Is Breakup Sex?

It’s over. Arguments are flying around the room, your partner’s in tears, and the stereo is playing that same old sad song you hate with all your heart but can’t get enough of. Moments later, your eyes lock. It doesn’t take long, and you’re on the couch, doing all sorts of dirty things you didn’t dare do before.

That’s breakup sex for you. Sure, scenarios vary, but the point remains. Having sex after the two of you decide it’s over allows for some of the hottest action you’ll ever experience. But how so? Well, the bittersweet atmosphere of the deed frees you from previous engagements and allows you to be free.

Since both of you know there’s no going back, you do all sorts of freaky stuff to one another with consent. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always happen. Breakup sex is a rare privilege only some of us get …

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