The heart is a muscle. Therefore, it can’t be broken, only crushed. Although this sounds exceptionally melodramatic, some breakups leave us feeling as if our ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend stuck their preternaturally clawed hand into our chest cavities, reached for the heart, and crushed it.
A lot of people go through breakups. In fact, most people do it at least once in their lives. In the long run, you’ll have more failed relationships than success stories. And while your ultimate success story will probably be an epic tale of love and passion, it’s yet to come.
While you wait, you have to go through all these “less-than” scenarios, where you hopelessly give your trust and love to someone who bails on you.
Breakups Are a Part of Life
So here you are — looking like the living, breathing rom-com cliche. You’re sitting in your bed, eating ice cream and crying, thinking whether your mental health can take the toll of another breakup or if perhaps this is your breaking point. And while you’re thinking that, you’re furiously scrolling through social media, trying to distract yourself with anything (or stalking your …
Although time passes, some things remain deeply rooted inside our heads. From childhood memories, both bad and good, to lovers gone by, they all find that one place inside us. And in reality, that’s normal. Most of the time, we like to remember things our way, not necessarily how they happened.
Moving on from past events is rather hard when you have the likes of nostalgia and trauma messing with you. Unfortunately, that is just how our minds work. As much as we like to make old memories better than they were, we can’t escape something bad without boarding up and letting it eat us from inside.
Along those lines, memories of your ex have a nasty habit of turning into nightmares. Moving on with your life isn’t as easy as one might expect. No matter if the two of you had a bad or wonderful time together, both can hurt badly on their own. Sure, it’s not like every memory has to be of something bad, but those rose-colored moments will stab you when you least expect them.
And in order not to fall under the spell of some sad song cliche, why don’t you try and fix yourself? …
You are changing. The universe around you is changing. Just because something was right for you in the past doesn’t mean it still is. This could be a relationship, a job, a home, a habit, etc.
It happens to you slowly as you grow. You discover more about who you are and what you want out of life, and then you realize there are deliberate changes you need to make to keep up with the changes happening around you and within you.
The lifestyle you’ve been living no longer fits. The specific people and routines you’ve known forever no longer align with your values. So you cherish all the memories, but find yourself letting go and moving on.
If you’re currently dealing with this process you may feel a bit awkward, and that’s OK. This feeling is normal. I’ve been right there with you on more occasions than I can count.
Reasons to Let Go and Move On
Someone’s negativity is rubbing off on you. – You are the average of the people you spend the most time with. In other words, who you spend your time with has a great impact on the person you are and the person
So you’re going through a breakup. The bad news: it’s never easy. The good news: you’re not alone with your aching heart. If the music we listen to is any indication, then breaking up, feeling down about it and hopefully finding the courage to move on are some of the most common shared human experiences. As centuries of forlorn singletons have learned and generations of songwriters have mastered, one of the best cures for heartbreak is the balm of music that speaks to our souls — or maybe helps us rationalize away the tears.
“Heartache is what motivates many artists to write songs in the first place,” explains Spotify’s trends expert Shanon Cook to us; there are over half a million breakup-themed playlists on the platform alone. “Some people might not want or know how to articulate how they’re feeling during a rough time,” Cook adds. “Maybe it’s nice to let Sam Smith or Kelly Clarkson express it for you.”
While some classics remain timeless in their appeal — songs like Beyoncé‘s “Irreplaceable,” Adele‘s “Someone Like You” and Kelly Clarkson‘s “Since U Been Gone” remain the top three most popular additions to breakup-themed playlists on Spotify, for instance — 2018 …
Nothing can keep you from a happier future than a lingering relationship wound. We’ve all been there: Experiencing good love gone bad is painful. It doesn’t really matter what the circumstances were, or who was right and who was wrong. The bottom line is that it hurts and that the pain is preventing you from moving forward. While time is the best healer, there are five concrete steps you can take that will facilitate the process:
1. Cut off contact
Do this at least for a little while. No, you do not need to be friends. Keeping an ex in your life is not by itself a sign of maturity; knowing how to take care of yourself and your emotional well-being is. Many people hang on to the idea of friendship with an ex as a way to keep the possibility of the relationship alive because the idea of completely letting go seems too overwhelming. While, depending on the circumstances, a friendship may eventually be possible, being friends can’t happen in a genuine way until you have healed through most if not all of the pain, which takes time. Being your own best friend is what is most important …
No matter how rational or mature you think you are, facing a breakup isn’t something you’d look forward to. Saying goodbye and letting go isn’t easy, and it can break even the coldest of people. Losing someone you care for is pretty much the worst thing that could happen to you. It’s the topic of pretty much every other sad song, piece of literature, or any other art form.
On the other hand, breaking up with someone with whom you had a bad experience is often seen as something positive. And sure enough, in truth, it is. But, unfortunately, it’s not like the traumas of the past won’t crawl their way back in. So, moving forward might be harder than saying enough is enough.
Either way, there’s this old thing about not staying in contact with your ex. The reasons are many, but in the end, most point in the same direction. Pretending that everything is A-okay is pretty much counterproductive for both of you. No matter if you had a good or toxic relationship with that one person, it’s important not to look back on it.
Sure, we’re not saying you should be an A-hole to them, not at …
People are the sum of their experiences. Everything that happened to us shaped us into who we are today.
The way we were raised made us who we are, and every relationship we had contributed. Our childhood best friends, our first loves and first heartbreaks, as well as those dudes we met in college and had a blast with but then fell out of touch — all of those experiences contributed to our personalities. Inevitably, breakups are a massive part of that.
Now, that doesn’t have to mean anything dramatic. Sure, some people go through drastic changes after a breakup. They change their entire persona because the experience scars them. Depending on the breakup’s nastiness, they might even change how they interact with people in general.
However, not every breakup has to have massive consequences for our mental health and personality. But, the reality of the situation is that changes happen. You change your outlook after a breakup, even if it’s ever so slightly.
How Breakups Change Your Personality — the Rundown
Breakups change us because they have to. They are like going back to factory settings — some things will simply be different.…
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Tough Breakup? Make Moving On Easier With These Proven Tips!
Breakups are the worst. That’s especially true if you’re not the instigator. Damn, that hurts! Every failed relationship hurts, no matter how invested you were.
Sure, getting over a previous relationship that lasted for years and was full of love and devotion is much harder than getting over a fling. But still, negative emotions are pretty much a constant presence after any breakup.
The bad news is that there really is no shortcut that will get you from a broken heart to a healthy, happy place. The healing process takes time and space.
Although breakups leave us room to improve ourselves, it’s kind of hard to look at them that way. Sure, we could rebrand, figure out what we want, and ultimately start the journey there, but because we’re still feeling the absence of a person that was dear to us, we can’t.
So, moving on after a breakup is difficult. But why exactly?
Why Is Letting Go of an Ex So Hard to Do?
If you’re wondering what to do after a breakup, you’re probably smacked in the middle of the aftermath of one. So, you already know …
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